Should a Cemetery Memorial Be Approved Before It's Installed?
Cemetery memorials are installed at a loved one's final resting place, although it would understandably be distressing if their headstone wasn't as final as you thought. While it's rare for a headstone to be removed, it has happened before. But why would anyone do such a thing?
A Removed Memorial
In February 2020, a South Australia family were shocked to discover that their son's headstone had been removed without their knowledge. Cemetery management stated that the removal had occurred as the result of complaints about the content of the memorial. The complaints were due to the fact that the headstone contained a photo of the deceased, and in that photo, he was giving the finger. While some members of the public may have found this offensive, the family said that this photo was indicative of their son's sense of humour. This was tremendously upsetting for the family concerned, and so how could you avoid a similar fate for a loved one's headstone?
The Content of Memorials
The South Australia incident was an isolated event, but it demonstrates that a cemetery feels the content of the memorials on their site come under their jurisdiction. While a headstone provider will add whatever content the family wants to be included, the memorial can potentially be removed if there should be any complaints about the content. So what should you do if you want to include something on a headstone that has the potential to cause offence, even though you know that this content is simply reflective of your loved one's personality, and indeed, is how you want to remember them?
Cemetery Management
If the proposed memorial for your loved one contains material that could conceivably trigger a complaint, you should run it past cemetery management. While they don't technically need to approve each headstone before it's installed, it would be distressing if this content was called into question at a later stage. If you decide to consult cemetery management before installing the headstone, be sure to get their approval in writing.
A Private Joke
Although this scenario is unlikely to affect many Australian families, you'll want to take steps to ensure that it doesn't happen to you. If it was your intention to include something on the memorial that could trigger offence, you have options. While it might be a reference or joke that happens to be adult in nature, you could even ask for it to be engraved at the very base of the structure, which will in fact be buried and never seen by members of the public. This allows the private joke between you and your loved one to remain private, without jeopardising the memorial itself.
If there's any doubt about the proposed content on a memorial, discuss your concerns with cemetery management.